...clean the snow of your car.

Okay, let's start with a geography lesson.  New England is comprised of six states: Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Rhode Island.  This particular region of the country can be characterized by quite "impressive" winters.  Annual snowfall can be up to 100 inches. If you live in any one of these six states, I'm fucking talking to you.  And if you live in one of these six states, you had better be able to identify this:

And assuming you know what that is - fucking get one! In New England, a snow brush should be in your car from October through April - yes, I said April.  Remember the year that Mayor Menino had all the plows taken off the trucks in Boston on April 1 and we got slammed with snow a few days later - fucking moron.  Oh, and it's not just good enough to be in your car - you have to USE IT!

These are the scenarios I have observed this winter:

1.  A car driving down the street with the front windshield cleaned off, side windows and back window covered in snow.  That might be fine for the Grand Prix raceway at Disney World where your car is on a fucking track and you can only go forward, but not so great when you are actually controlling your vehicle and have to make informed decisions about turning left or right.

2. A car driving down the road with all the windows clear, but 6 inches of snow on top of the car.  Everything's cool and you're all proud of yourself because you saved some time ... until you come to a stop and the six inches of snow is now covering your front windshield.  Or better yet, when it flies off your car and hits the windshield of the car behind you - yeah - that's fucking considerate.

3.  A SUV or truck with 6 inches of snow on the roof.  Don't give me the fucking excuse that you couldn't reach it.  If you buy a vehicle that is taller than you, you have the responsibility to get an extendable snow brush ... yeah ... they make them. Use a step stool if you have to.

Which brings us to the How To section.

1. Use a gloved hand to clean off the area around your door handle and door.

2. Open door.

3. Procure snow brush from inside vehicle.

4. Start car and turn defrosters on high to help start to melt the snow/ice off your vehicle.

5. Close door 

5. Proceed to remove ALL snow and/or ice from the exterior of your vehicle.  When I say ALL, I mean on the roof,  on the windows, on the headlights, obscuring your license plate, and any miscellaneous snow/ice stuck to any part of the vehicle.

And, I probably should mention that you should start the above process at least 15 minutes, if not more, before you actually need to drive away in the car.  It takes time - plan for it.

Look, if you want to endanger your own life out of sheer stupidity - go ahead - survival of the fittest, I say (see the Darwin Awards) .  However when you endanger other people on the road, you're just another lazy piece of shit that lives the "I only give a shit about me" way of life - and yes, I take issue with that.

submitted by Guest blogger, B.